Toxic Love: Are We Glowing for Ourselves or for Validation?

Toxic Love: Are We Glowing for Ourselves or for Validation?

Here’s a wild thought: what if the glow you’re chasing isn’t really yours? Not your vibe, not your joy, but something shaped by likes, comments, and endless DMs? It’s time to ask ourselves — are we glowing because we truly love who we are, or just because we want others to love it? Honestly, I get it — I’ve been there too, influenced by all the wrong voices. But guess what? I’m here to help you break free from that mindset and find your own authentic shine.

The Glow-Up Culture: A Double-Edged Sword

It’s 2025, and if you’ve been online even for five minutes, you know the glow-up is the trend. From skincare routines to fitness journeys, everyone’s sharing their “before and after” stories like badges of honor. That’s amazing — because caring for yourself and building confidence is empowering. But it can also turn tricky when your glow depends more on external approval than genuine self-love.

The thing is, you’ll find thousands of tips, products, and motivational quotes about “self-love” and “confidence boosts.” Yet somehow, many still feel empty after the Instagram likes fade or the compliments stop coming. Why? Because there’s a sneaky side to this glow culture: toxic love.

What Is Toxic Love in the Context of Glowing Up?

Toxic love isn’t just about bad relationships — it’s also about how we relate to ourselves. It’s the pattern of chasing validation from others rather than nurturing a deep, unconditional love for who we are. When your skincare routine or fitness plan is driven by “Will they notice? Will they approve?” it stops being self-care and becomes a quest for approval.

Imagine spending hours perfecting your look not because you want to feel good, but because you’re waiting for a comment, a DM, or that little heart icon to make you feel worthy. That’s toxic love disguised as self-love.

How to Spot If You’re Glowing for Validation — Not Yourself

• You scroll your social feeds looking for validation more than inspiration.

• Compliments from others make your day, but the absence of them makes you doubt yourself.

• You change your routine often depending on what’s trending or what got the most likes for others.

• You avoid posting or sharing if you’re worried about negative comments or no reactions.

• Your mood swings with the feedback you receive about your appearance or achievements.

Sound familiar? Don’t worry — it’s a common trap. The good news is, once you notice it, you’re already halfway out.

How to Flip the Script and Glow for Yourself

1. Define Your Own Why

Before you buy the next “miracle” serum or start a fitness challenge, ask yourself: “Am I doing this because I want to feel better, or because I want others to notice?” When your motivation comes from inside, your glow becomes authentic and sustainable.

2. Celebrate Small Wins, Just for You

Don’t wait for a like or a compliment to feel proud. Celebrate your consistency, your progress, and your efforts quietly or out loud — whatever feels right. Real confidence builds when you acknowledge your journey without needing external applause.

3. Curate Your Digital Space

Follow accounts that inspire realness, self-acceptance, and growth — not just perfection or fame. Remember, social media is a highlight reel, not the whole story.

4. Practice Self-Compassion Daily

Your worth isn’t tied to your glow or your looks. On tough days, talk to yourself like a best friend would — with kindness, patience, and understanding.

5. Invest in Rituals That Nourish Your Soul

Whether it’s skincare, journaling, meditation, or dancing in your room, find rituals that make you feel alive and connected to yourself — not just Instagram-ready.

The Real Glow Comes From Within

The truth? The glow that lasts, the confidence that stays, and the love that heals all start inside you. It’s messy, imperfect, and beautifully human. When you love yourself without conditions or likes, you become your own biggest fan — and that, my friend, is the kind of glow no filter can replicate.

Catch you next time!