What Performative Really Means And What It Doesn’t

Is Everything Really ‘Performative’?

If you’ve been online for more than five minutes this year, you’ve probably seen the word “performative” thrown around like confetti.
Every few months, the internet collectively rediscovers a new word and then… ruins it.
This season’s victim? Performative.

Suddenly, everything is “performative.”
A guy buys flowers for his girlfriend? Performative.
A girl dresses nicely? Performative.
Someone posts a gym selfie? Performative.
Your partner shows up with cinnamon rolls and a forehead kiss? Performative.

Like… can we breathe?

Because somewhere along the way, “performative” stopped meaning “fake activism done for attention” and started meaning “any nice gesture that requires effort.”
And honestly? That’s just lazy vocabulary.

Let’s set the record straight.

 

What “Performative” Should Mean

Here’s the textbook version:
Performative behavior is when someone does something purely for external validation, applause, or perception — not because they genuinely care.

Like someone posting a donation receipt to seem charitable, or preaching about boundaries they don’t actually follow.
That’s performative.

But your boyfriend bringing you flowers because he wanted to?
Not performative, it’s just normal adult affection.
Your coworker always looking perfectly put together?
Not performative, maybe they just like feeling good in their clothes.
Your neighbor wearing perfume to the supermarket?
Maybe she wants to smell nice next to the tomatoes. Let her.

 

The Real Problem: We’ve Started Calling Effort “Fake”

Some people really are manipulative and calculated, we know.
We’ve all met someone whose entire personality is an Instagram filter.

But most people?
They’re just trying.
Trying to show up nicely.
Trying to be thoughtful.
Trying to feel put together even when life is a chaotic soup.

Effort doesn’t equal performance.
Effort means someone cares.

And honestly, if someone wants to look polished, speak nicely, smell good, plan surprises, or put on a cute outfit even for a grocery run…
That’s not fake.
That’s personal preference.
That’s self-expression.
That’s STYLE.

 

When the Word Actually Applies

Now… we all have that bestie who stays in sweats until someone attractive joins the outing and suddenly they look like they got styled by Balenciaga.
Yes, that’s a little performative.
And yes, we love them anyway.

Or the friend who acts one way with you and a different way when “important people” walk in.
Yeah. Performative.

But buying cinnamon rolls for your partner?
Performative??
Be serious.

Get better standards.

 

So… What If You Want to Be a Little Bit Performative?

Let’s flip the script.
If you’re going to be “performative,” do something that actually matters, something that makes someone’s day nicer, softer, or easier.

Like surprising your loved one (or yourself) with an experience that makes them feel taken care of.

And since we’re here…
Silkor’s Black Friday is honestly the best time of the year to do it.

 

The Good Kind of Performative: Giving People Treatments They’ll Actually Use

If you’re going to make a gesture this month, make that your performance.
We won’t judge you — in fact, we’ll applaud you.

Here’s what’s happening this month at Silkor:

Laser Hair Removal – 50% OFF

Smooth skin with half the commitment? Yes.
Performative? No.
Practical, loved, and very appreciated? Absolutely.

Slimming Treatments – BOGO & Special Discounts

CoolSculpting (Buy 1 Get 1), Endermologie LPG (BOGO), Pressotherapy (50%), VelaShape (50%), Zimmer ZField specials.
If you want to gift someone their favorite-fitting jeans again…
This is how.

Facials – Buy 1 Get 1

Carbon Facial, Deep Cleansing, DMD, HydraFacial Deluxe, La Vida, Mesotherapy, Skin Peel, Morpheus Forma 25%.
Give someone two sessions for the price of one and watch them call you “thoughtful,” not “performative.”

Injectables & Doctor Services – Up to 30% OFF

Botox, Fillers, Skin Boosters, Exosome Therapy, PDRN, Morpheus8, Cosmelan, Dermaclar, SkinPen.
Nothing screams “I care about you” more than encouraging someone to invest in their skin with proper medical professionals.

And if you’re gifting yourself?
Self-care is not performative either.
It’s alignment.

 

Why Now Is the Smartest Time to Book

Let’s be real:
If you’ve been thinking about doing a treatment all year, the window is wide open right now.

• The offers are better.

   

• The timing is perfect before the new year.

   

• The consultations are free.

   

• The treatments are medical, safe, and done by specialists.

   

If there was ever a moment to start — or gift — a treatment plan, Black Friday at Silkor is it.

 

Ready to Be “Performative” in the Best Way Possible?

Give the gesture that actually means something.
Give yourself (or your people) something real, useful, beneficial, and uplifting.

Book your Black Friday treatments here.
And if you’re in the UAE, choose Tamara or Tabby at checkout for extra flexibility.

Being performative has never looked this good.
Or this… non-performative.

Catch you next time!